Thursday, March 22, 2012

wish you were here

i really want to thank this girl yesterday for making work so awesome ! i think i was on the verge of crying , but this girl distracted me and talked about everythinggggg else like CAT , OWL & BIRD  .                                and our outing the week after good friday , all six of us .Really cannot multitask when im working with her , thanks alot dear for cheering me up .

i guess i've been learning alot lately , going through such a hard time managing all these things on my shoulders . Till i've neglected those closest around me . i guess every one will have their own fair share of problems and responsibilities . I guess mind just tripled as the days went by . 

caring for 13 people isn't easy , let alone their spiritual growth are my responsibility now . Its easy to teach the lesson , then leave the group once after cell group is done . but no , i would not be able to connect to the members well if there isn't the relationship there . God is really giving me a bigger heart to care for all of them . I guess i finally feel how a net leader should feel , knowing that God wouldn't entrust so many lives to me if i couldn't handle it . As it has the same logic as " God wouldn't let you get tempted by a temptation that you cannot overcome " .

i really thank god for bestf actually , giving me phone calls every night to encourage me not to give up and being really supportive of everything . even offered to take my grandma out for her daily exercise ( that is if i was not free ) .i wish bestf would transform and miraculously become my sibling to help me out at home and take away some of the workload and errands. Been really busy and dont need anything else to give me more stress. Its my holidays and im feeling like its a start of my exams . 
But i really thank God that all these " extra workload / errands " came during the holidays .

you know the feeling of loneliness ? i dont really bother if i feel lonely myself , but i get bothered if my mom and grandma feels lonely , or anyone else around me feels lonely . I dont want them to ever feel that way . sigh . i know its a horrible feeling

i wish andrea was around ...  
i wish my dad was around more often 
i want my family back tgt in sg 
how long more will this last ? 
to know my mom is happier if both of them are around . 
i will be okay , i will get by .
im use to people leaving 
i just want my mom to be happy . 

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